Down to the Wire

Monday, September 19, 2011
That's right. We're down to the D-day wire. I've been slipping with blogging because of the MAJOR list of to-dos. Oh and we had to move two weeks earlier then planned. My husband was never suppose to move with me but, sometimes things come up. I guess. I'm still a litle ticked off about the whole situation. Anyway back to our to-dos. I can be the worst procrastinator out there but, I've met my match in my husband. Even though we have a crap load to do hours go by and then days and nothing has gotten done. I'm about ready to scream. Getting him to do any of this is like pulling teeth and half of it doesn't even have to do with me. By the time this deployment is over all my beautiful red hair is going to be as white as the cobwebs in the corner of the room. Which reminds me... I need to dust. On another had, Halloween is coming up... Just kidding. I have to find motivation to get some of these things done and stuff unpacked. I guess it's because the thought of my husband leaving my side is so depressing that I would rather not do anything that has to do with him leaving. I know, of course, that can't get the case but, it is fun to think about. Not caring. Not being responsible. Just spending every mintue with each other and hoping those things will just get done all on there own. If only life could be as easy as that.

Yellow Ribbon Program

Tuesday, September 13, 2011
This past weekend my husband and I, along with about 600 or more other people, attended our first yellow ribbon of our upcoming deployment. For those who do not know what the Yellow Ribbon Program  is, it's a DOD program to help support National Guard and Reserve members and their families with information on benefits and referrals before, during, and after a deployment.

If 9/11 weekend wasn't already hard enough we had to sit and hear about all the military programs to help us as our husband,wives,brothers,sisters, daughters , and sons go away to war. Many for the first time. As hard as it was to face the fact that this is about to happen I can't express how glad I am that my husband and I decided to attend. A lot of people say that the yrp is death by power point and even though it may feel like that if you take the time to actually listen to all the great information they are giving it's really not that bad. The best part of the whole weekend besides my husband and I getting away for the weekend was all the great companies that took time to come tell us about things I know most of the families wouldn't have known about otherwise. They set up booths and we could go by and talk to them personally and pick up pamphlets and booklets along with some nice freebies.

 I was really worried going into it that I wouldn't enjoy it just because it was getting us ready for something I already don't want to think about. I have to admit that the weekend really opened my eyes to a few things. One being that acting like that was just silly. It's so important to be as prepared as possible. The more prepared the better off you'll be to handle the stresses that are bound to come your way. I've also realized that my feelings lately are just getting in my own way. Of course no one wants their loved one to go to war but, letting it consume you will only make it worse. My husband was handed his official orders this weekend while I was standing next to him. It just made me realize that like it or not this is happening. I can let it defeat me or I can get on board. Either way he is leaving. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it and nothing I can do to stop it. I don't have to like it but, I've realized that for the sake of my sanity, my marriage, and my husband it's time to suck it up and get over it. We're not the first couple to have to go through this and we won't be the last!

Lists, lists, and more lists

Tuesday, September 6, 2011
As D-day gets closer I find myself making lists. So many lists. To do lists, to pack lists, activities lists, and to buy lists. All these lists are saying to me is "times a ticking!" It's time to kick it into high gear!! Most of my lists are pre-deployment lists. If you're a list person and looking for a pre-deployment check list check this one out! > USAA :) 

I just don't want to forget anything. When my husband went to his 3 week AT so many things went wrong because we weren't as prepared as I thought we were. I can't let that happen this time. I mean this isn't a 3 week trip. This is a 365 day trip! There isn't room to not be prepared.

With roughly 3 weeks left I can already feel a nervous break down coming on. WATCH OUT! haha

Labor Day weekend

Monday, September 5, 2011
It's been a roller coaster of a weekend. It all started Thursday night. As I mentioned in an earlier post we had to cancel my husband's going away party because his manager decided to make him work. Or so we thought. He called to get his schedule Thursday and she had him off Saturday and Sunday. I can't express how pissed I was about it. After all the crap she put us through about wanting that day off and then she gives him that day off AFTER we cancelled it. REALLY?
Friday comes and I tried to let go of the stress of different things and get excited about my husband coming home and his suprise birthday party. I was already upset because his parents and one of his sisters back out of coming to his birthday dinner. So we're left with my parents, two brothers, and one of his sisters. By this point I was just done with the whole thing. I go and pick my husband up and we have a good dinner and he seemed to enjoy his self. We are on the ride home and he decides it's a good time to confess that he didn't tell me that he did something he wasn't suppose to do while he was gone. I already have trust issues so I snapped. He leaves when we get home and I just go to bed. I had enough.
Saturday is here and we make up. All day. haha There isn't much to say about Saturday other then, I never realized how important a simple touch can be until you haven't had that feeling in awhile.
Sunday was pretty lazy too. I was a little bummed that we didn't do anything with his two days off but, he had been gone for 3 weeks training so I tried to understand that he wasn't in the mood to get up and do anything.
Now we're at Monday. It started raining early this morning thanks to hurricane Lee. I don't mind it too much. I love the rain and it helps the temperatures come down. I've spent the day alone since Chris had to work a double today. And we're in for the same tomorrow. It's just so good to finally have him home. I don't look forward to next months and having to say our good-byes.....

Life Isn't Fair

Thursday, September 1, 2011
UGH! It's September 1st. I can't believe we've come down to our last month. I really thought I was doing better then I am. I guess all we have left to do on top of our "see you later"s is really getting to me. It's times like this that I HATE being an adult. I think this whole experience has really been an eye opener. I've realized how deep my love for my husband goes. I thought I was head strong and an independent thinker before all this. HA I'm realizing now that I haven't seen anything yet. Not only will I have to do for myself but, for my husband too. I have to be the mind for both of us during times we can't talk.
My parents have always told me "Life isn't fair". That statement has taken on a whole new meaning lately. They weren't kidding....
I know in the end I'll be okay but, for now, I'm going to reserve the right to not be okay... just for a little while.....

In saying all of that I want to add this video my brother posted on his facebook and the lyrics that mean the most to me

"You can't hold back the hands of time
It's just something you've got to do
So dry your eyes I understand just what you're going through..."