Homecoming

Homecoming

Many things come to mind when I think about homecoming. My husband has finally made it to the United States and is a few states over, demobing. I wish they could have just come home but, that's the Guard life for you. So I have a week or so to over analyze things like always.
 You would think I would be occupied with unpacking seeing how I recently just moved our things, with the help of my family, to the next town over. I can't help but, worry.
Worry about the reintergration process. How will we reconnect? How will he feel about being just us again. Our marriage has revolved around this deployment. The first year was spent  preparing for the deployment and the second on the actual deployment. What now? How do you go from depending on yourself to working together again?
We didn't have the easiest deployment, relationship wise. It really shined light on some of our weak areas. I don't know if I'm really over it all yet. I worry that I'll be expected to just jump back into everything and I don't think I can. If I don't I think it could just add to our problems.
This is suppose to be a happy time. I don't think they prepair you enough for what comes after the hugs and kisses. The time when you get in the car and go home. Just some thoughts for the night...

Running on Fumes

*deep breath* It seems my life is revolving on these slow, deep breaths. This deployment feels to be lingering the closer homecoming gets. While I should be happy and excited that we're getting closer to the end I find myself irritated and annoyed by not only the extra stresses of finding a place to live and setting it up before he makes his return home but, also worrying about how the next few months or even year is going to go. Getting back to married life suddenly seems like a weird concept. Add on my husband wanting to reenlist for 6 more years and you can expect me to blow at any moment.
I guess it could be the deployment talking when I say I wish my husband wouldn't reenlist. It's true I knew he was in the military when we got married. If I haven't said it i'll say it now, knowing and living are two completely different things. When we got married he talked about getting out because his contract was coming up but, a month after we said "I do" he said "I've got orders". That was it. He had his mind made up before he even left drill to come home to tell me about it that he was going to extend for this deployment. I had no say. I made my peace with it and we enjoyed the time we had left together in our first year of marriage. I should have known then that it wouldn't stop there.
Stay tuned to find out what happens in this adventure of ours. :)

Valentine's Day Care package

Here is my quick post about the care package I sent my husband for Valentine's Day :)

First, I used one the APO/large flat rate boxes that you can get at your local post office or online at the USPS website.

The first picture is how I decorated it. 1) I use Scotch permanent double sided tape. 2) I like to use the wrapping paper with the lines on the back. It's a lot easier to cut a straight line with and to measure the size that you need. I cute them into strips measuring from the flap (flat,open) to the side and to the bottom. I know some people just like to put paper on the flap, which is fine. I just like to cover all of the brown area. 3) When I'm finished covering all sides, I like to cut one square the size of the bottom to cover any empty spaces or lines from the paper strips. 4) I found these really cute heart and "love" decorations at my local WalMart. Each pack was 97 cents. 5) Their were two kinds of hearts, glitter and worded. 6) This is what it looked like when I was finished. Make sure when you have something as thick as the "love" word that you put it on the flap that you fold into the box and not on top of the other flaps. And have fun with it. I put the hearts on top of each other and some going a different direction. I also made sure I mixed up the colors.

For this box I decided to try my hand at making a "Cake In A Jar". It was really easy. Before anything, wash your jars, lids, and tops! My box of cake mix filled 5 jars. 1) I used a Duncan Hines Red Velvet cake mix. You can use any kind. 2) I got a box of 12 Ball jars. You don't need that many unless you just want to make 12 jars full lol That's just the only kind I could find in WalMart. 3) The jars are Wide Mouth Pint size jars. 4) Make sure you  preheat to 350f and grease the jars before you start making your cake. 5) Make your cake the way the box says. 6) Pour your cake mix into your greased jars, making sure to keep the rims and outside of the jar as clean as possible. To insure this I used a measuring cup. 6) Fill your jars about a cup worth full. The jars I used has the measurements on it. It ends up being about a half a jar full. 7)Place your jars on a cookie sheet to keep them from tipping over in the oven. 8) While your cake is cooking, boil your lids in a pot of water. I waited towards the end of my baking because I was afraid they'd cook for to long. (I haven't done any kind of canning if you can not tell). 9) After you've cooked your cake for about 30 minutes, take it out and do the "toothpick" test. If the toothpick is clean of raw dough it's read. As my mom pointed out, crumbs are ok to have on the tooth pick as long as it's not raw cake batter. I ended up needing about two more minutes for mine. 10) After you've determined that your cake is ready and you've taken them out, while they are still hot, put your still hot lids on your jar and carefully screw on the tops. As they cool they will seal. Listen for the "ping" sound to know they are sealed. If you miss the sound, wait for them to cool and then push the top of the lid. If it doesn't move it's already sealed. 11) If you want to make it special you can dress it up with ribbon like I did in the above pictures or even use stickers or paint.

Send along a few plastic forks or spoons and a container of frosting and you're all set. Make sure you wrap them in something that will keep the glass from breaking and will keep it contained if it does break.

This is what his box looked like before I sealed it. I sent

1) Two "Cake in a Jar"s

2) One container of cream cheese frosting

3) One large Hershey's Kiss

4) A container of pink Cotton Candy

5) A blue heart shaped box of chocolates

6) A dvd ( X-Men First Class)

7) A blue stuffed animal monkey

8) A cute dog box with animal crackers

9) A Kodak Easyshare digital camera via Walmart's after Christmas sell

10) I got a bag of Valentine's cherry suckers and heart message candies and I spread them around

in the box.

Back in the Saddle

I'm so disappointed in myself. I don't know if anybody reads my posts but, I have completely dropped the ball on what I wanted this blog to be about. I haven't written hardly anything since my husband left. This blog is suppose to be about my journey and I haven't shared anything. FAIL! So on that note....

October- My husband left for our first deployment and I moved back in with my parents to help my mom since she was having surgery. The first few days were a little hard but, nothing I've never felt before. I kept telling myself we would see each other in November because at this point he was just mobing. He hadn't left the states yet.
For those who don't know yet my husband and I have been ttc since march of 2011. We were not successful in making that happen before he deployed so I had been feeling kinda down about that. Well, in good ol' October we found out that BOTH of my husband's sisters are pregnant. Talk about a kick in the ovaries. You could say I was a little...bitter for a little while.

 I wasn't going to let him go without a fight :p (Excuse the mess. He was in the middle of packing)

 My husband's deployment ceremony

 And so it begins.. and yes I did go just a little over board with the yellow ribbons but, you have to undestand that it's not just for my husband. It's for my brother and my friends too.

 Did I mention he's an expert marksman?

 One of his battle buddies

 And enters Multicam...

November-The month to see my husband has finally arrived. YAY! Even though I was excited to see him I was NOT looking forward to flying for the first time so me and two other frg ladies decided to travel together. We carpooled to Alabama and was on our way to Texas. One layover later and we made it to El Paso nice and safe. I was exhausted so the first night was full of sleeping. We had 5 days with each other and we both tried to avoid the inevitable, this time was going to end and we were going to say goodbye. He left me alone in the post hotel my last night there and reported back with the rest of the guys. There I was hundreds of miles from home, alone in a hotel. Needless to say I didn't sleep well that night. He left the states a few days later. Thanksgiving was harder then I thought it would be. We got to talk to each other. I think that made it harder because we just talked about how much we wish he was there and how much we missed each other.

 sporting the new multicam

 My travel buddies

 Worth it!

 Finally on Ft. Bliss

 The gorgeous view from our hotel room on post

 This blog is brought to you by.. me :)

 Their unit rock at McGregor. I wish I would have gotten a picture of all of the rocks from the other unit that's been there. They line the building where they stay. It was really cool.

 In the elevator on the way down to the parking lot to say goodbye and the last time I was with my husband. :(

leaving the states

December- My favorite month. Cold weather, Christmas, and my birthday. Wouldn't you know it that this deployment would kill that mood. Actually the month wasn't that bad. The rocket attacks picked up but, all is well. My husband and his friends seem to be in good spirits. Christmas and New Years were a little depressing but, we got through it and moved on.

 In afghanistan

 mini Christmas Tree, blinking snow flakes, and "Let it Snow" sign to make it a little bit like Christmas

January- Now this month has been......something else. Good and bad. First the bad, tensions have been running high with my husband and I. Just one of those things I guess. I know a lot of people try to fake like they don't have issues when their SO is deployed but, lets be fair. Time doesn't stop when they deploy. You're marriage doesn't stop. Life goes on and in life and marriage problems come up. Like it or not. I'm not going to pretend to be happy if my husband does something I don't think is right just because he's deployed. That to me is ridiculous. Aside from a few minor bumps in the road with us, activity over there is raising. A unit attached to my husband's unit, that's at a different FOB, lost four guys and one injured when their vehicle struck a roadside bomb. Read about the news story here.  I think that hit all the units working together hard....  Now for some good, we found out that one of my sister in laws is having a baby boy. The other sister in law finds out in a week or so (February). We finally paid off the loan that we had to fix our car and now own it again.  It snowed in Afghanistan. Who else is suprised that it snows there? I was floored and thought they were just pulling my leg. They weren't. We also found out that r&r will be in the spring. I will be honest, I was hoping for the summer so it would be closer to homecoming but, he was told he couldn't take it in the summer because of his job and that being their busiest time of the year. I'll take the spring and be happy.

 A few snow flakes. He sent me a video via his ipod that shows the really big snow flakes and it was coming down hard. This picture dosen't do it justice but, it's the only one I have.

Okay, now that we're caught up. I'll try to post more regularly!

A Special Valentine's Message

Valentine's Day is coming fast and since my husband is over seas I was trying to find a way to make it a little special. I came across a great idea posted by a fellow military spouse on facebook. Thanks to Stars and Stripes you can not only send a online message but, a newspaper message to your loved one over seas in the European, Pacific and Mideast editions of Stars and Stripes on February 14. Click this link ----> Stars and Stripes . For your message to appear in the February 14th edition you have to send in your message by January 24th. It does take a little time to get approved so turn it in now!!!! If you don't get it in by then don't worry, you still have until February 13th to do an online message that will appear on the above link. All your loved one has to do is search for the name you enter the message as and they can read it on there. I think this is a very special way to send an I love you. I can't wait to hear what my husband says when he sees his special message. :)

Well Hello November,

"There will be days that you don't think you can do it anymore and then tomorrow will come" via Lindsey @Give In To Me

The above quote might seem so simple to "normal" people but, to this ARNG wife it means that there is going to be a break in the dark clouds. I'm not sure if anyone out there noticed I haven't been writing lately. I guess my husband leaving hit me harder then I thought. Add my mom's surgery and the problems that came with it, my in law drama, and my sister in law announcing her suprise and unexpected pregnancy I guess I haven't been up to writing. I've been so down lately, trying to figure out how in the world I can do 11 more months of all of this. How I can make it through 11 more months of being alone. Then I read that quote that was left in my comments and I realized that all you can do is take it one day at a time. Not everyday is bad. It isn't even that hard until I slow down, get relaxed, and get ready for bed.

I get to fly to Texas next week to see my husband on his leave before they official leave the country. I've never flown before and I can tell you I'm not excited about any of the flying experience. I just keep reminding myself that I'm too old to be a big baby (lol) and that I'm doing it for my honey. I'll make sure I post a few pictures of the trip :)

ps. Happy Halloween everyone!!

Hickory Farms and Christmas Care Package

If anyone is looking for a Christmas Care Package idea check out Hickory Farms. They have put together a few miltary gift packages and are offering free shipping to APO and FPO addresses. These are a tradition in my family. We get one every year so I know they are yummy :)